Sunday, 15 June 2008

Hair of the Dog

After spending a few hours hanging around Salt Lake City I was on the California Zephyr train headed for Colorado. Although it was a day train it was extremely enjoyable as the journey took us snaking along the Colorado River twisting and turning with each bend in the river. The river had created a steep jagged canyon which really did justice to the reputation that Colorado possesses.

I was in Jonny and Ryan`s gaff in Boulder, within an hour of detraining at Denver. Boulder is this cool little college town (quite like Missoula) in the middle of the Rockies. Crazy place. They brought me on some serious nights out. Beforehand though, they recounted their tale of the only other foreign couchsurfers they had. Quite a story:

Two weeks previously they had these two aussie lads staying with them. One of them, Andy, got pretty twisted one night. So drunk that he was struggling to keep on his feet. So obviously when the cops laid eyes on him he was a goner. They hauled his ass off to Detox - an informal arrangement where they throw fellas in to sober up.

But the thing is that its a voluntary situation in that if you really wanna leave they can`t do much to stop you short of arresting you. So anyway, the boy Andy, still plastered decided to leave. This story was only pieced together at a later date as Andy has zero recollection of what happened next. Apparently, he stumbled across the road to where there was a trailer park and attempted to enter one of the trailers. The guy who lived there obviously went mental at this and a scuffle ensued. Yer man managed to get away and call the copson Andy, and yip, you`ve guessed it, he got lynched again !!!

This is where it gets interesting. The charges - public intoxication, trespassing on private property, breaking and entering and (it turned out the guy was disabled) assault on a disabled person !! His goose was truly cooked. He literally had no recollection whatsoever so he had to agree with everything they threw at him. His lawyer reckoned he was facing 6 months - minimum !

Because he was a foreigner the bail was raised to $30,000 which he didnt exactly have on him. so they shipped him off to the county jail where the poor bastard spent 6 days. His parents where in Europe at the time and they flew out to him in desperation. well proud id say. The thing about the court case was that he was a qualified lawyer himself so he knew he was fucked. Astonishingly, the judge accepted his plea bargain and, I`d imagine because of the cost to the state of imprisoning him, charged him with trespassing on agricultural land and told him to get the fuck out of the country!

And before any of ye start leaving ye`re imaginations get the better of ye Andy is an australian and not in fact, me. Anyway, in fairness to Ryan and Jonny, they kept their faith in the Couch Surfing phenomenon but assured me that I had a hell of a lot to live up to.....

So I had a great laugh crashing with the lads. We hit a great electro gig on the first night. Canadian band called New Deal before going in to town. the next morning we went to the nearby creek for an ice cold t-bag. very refreshing to say the least !! the saturday night left me in a state of serious disrepair the following day. one of my worst hangovers of all time ! We started off the night at a keg party of one of their friends. One of whom had an alcoholic dog - i kid you not. i found the little shite tucking into a cup of beer under the table. thats Boulder for you.

So whilst nursing an atrocious hangover on the sunday evening, another memorable scene occured. The lads had another bloke called Fritz staying there too. He had been in college with them and had come back for the weekend but they weren`t crazy about him. They had also agreed to look after some chicks dog while she went away for a few days. Fritz, completely sober on his own in the house, had found it in his wisdom that the dog would look far cooler with a "Lion Tail" so he went about cutting half of the dogs tail hair off. Not a bright idea and the lads weren`t impressed. The girl didn`t realise it when she came to collect the dog so we all breathed a sigh of relieft.

Ten minutes later the door burst open. She was back. And she was not a happy dog owner !! fucking hell she was going beserk. What followed next was one of the most uncomfortable twenty minutes of my life. She unleashed a vitriolic hysterical rant about how her dog would be scarred for life and would never be the same again. It was Keane/McCarthy-esque. Fritz decided not to own up so poor Ryan took the brunt of the abuse while stating that he didn`t know who was responsible. I tried to stare at my shoes for the duration but I felt seriously uncomfortable. While it was bad form on Fritz`s part, she took it a bit too personally stating that the dog was the most important thing in her life. Not much of a fuckin life I thought to myself !!

Overall, Boulder was a shit hot town and the lads were up there with my best couchsurfing experience.

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